This is why I didn't post about week 2 of the NFL season. I won my match in one league, making me undefeated in that league, and lost my match in the other league, making me completely defeated in that one. And I wasn't happy about it. I was mad at my husband for making me join two leagues, mad at Peyton Manning for screwing me over, mad that my husband's cousin destroyed me, mad that I was basically in last place.
Like I said- sore loser.
Things are looking up this week, as I stuck Peyton back on the pine pony and put my true love, Drew Brees, back in where he belongs. And he didn't disappoint me. MJD also had a banner day with 24 points. Frustrations? I had Tom Brady and the Bears D on one team, and played against them in the other league. So I didn't want them to do TOO well. Bears D rocked it with 23 points. Tom Brady had another mediocre day with 19. Have I mentioned that he is the most overpaid, over-rated player in the NFL? If I haven't, it's because I didn't post last week. Because I have been thinking this thought for two weeks, and meant to mention it. I would trade him, but I know that once I did, he would probably play awesome. Because that is my life. Anyway, his mediocre day helped me out because I didn't need a lot of points from him on my team, but my opponent in the other league could have used some more.
Are you confused by these two teams/leagues? I am.
Like Jenny in The League (who I hate, by the way, along with her husband and daughter. Yes, I hate her daughter, and you would too if you watched the show), I am no longer going to tinker with my lineup. Unless it is completely necessary to switch someone out, like they have a really bad chance against their opponent, or it is a bye week of course.
My husband gets upset with me that I don't check the fantasy page multiple times a day, because while HE is at work he is creating new trophies, uploading pictures accompanied by his usual rhetoric and videos that have nothing to do with football. And he wants some kudos for the entertainment he is trying to provide. I just do not appreciate him enough as commissioner.
The game isn't over yet so I don't know if I actually won or not. But, it's looking good.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
I watched 10.5 hours of football yesterday
(Not counting the 20 minutes or so I spent cleaning the bathrooms.) And enjoyed every minute of it! WHAT FUN! It’s so exciting to watch your own game (GO JETS) and meanwhile you’re checking your Fantasy Football team score and watching your numbers climb. It’s great! We spent all Sunday in front of the TV, eating homemade wings and eventually grilling, chilling out. Good bonding time for the Colorado Kimmels.
Some down sides: your husband is cheering because Michael Vick is scoring points, while you’re groaning because Michael Vick is on your opponent's team in your other league. Loyalty and support within your marriage has gone out the window. And that’s ok. Also, he will spend more time than usual yelling at the T.V. I sympathized with Tony Romo the other night because my husband was yelling at him for giving the ball to some other player than the one he wanted. Hey, the guy still beat the Giants.
Jets Defense, you just became #1 in my heart. Why did I bench you? It’s heartbreaking when someone you bench plays AWESOME. Like Adrian Peterson, RG3 (who would have thought he would out-perform Tom Brady?), and Stevan Ridley.
My bench may have scored more points than my starters.
If I start the Jets Defense against some of the other teams, will they play as well? Did I miss my chance for big points from my defense? Probably. Arhg
Peyton Manning is the best Manning.
I managed to win in one league and I didn’t deserve it. Good show, old man. I still have one guy left to play in my other league and I’m 24 points behind. Darren McFadden, it’s up to you.
Some down sides: your husband is cheering because Michael Vick is scoring points, while you’re groaning because Michael Vick is on your opponent's team in your other league. Loyalty and support within your marriage has gone out the window. And that’s ok. Also, he will spend more time than usual yelling at the T.V. I sympathized with Tony Romo the other night because my husband was yelling at him for giving the ball to some other player than the one he wanted. Hey, the guy still beat the Giants.
Jets Defense, you just became #1 in my heart. Why did I bench you? It’s heartbreaking when someone you bench plays AWESOME. Like Adrian Peterson, RG3 (who would have thought he would out-perform Tom Brady?), and Stevan Ridley.
My bench may have scored more points than my starters.
If I start the Jets Defense against some of the other teams, will they play as well? Did I miss my chance for big points from my defense? Probably. Arhg
Peyton Manning is the best Manning.
I managed to win in one league and I didn’t deserve it. Good show, old man. I still have one guy left to play in my other league and I’m 24 points behind. Darren McFadden, it’s up to you.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
What step is this?: The Draft! Game Time HUH!
Next step (because I started writing the post before I checked which step I am up to. Step 7?):
Ok the draft is super easy. Even if you didn't listen to me and came to the draft completely unprepared, the players are ranked so you could easily just pick the top ranked player for the position you want. It has the players, the ranks, the positions, and the "bye" weeks (and probably other stuff that I didn't pay attention to). I had second pick, and of course the QBs went first. First picker Godsmack or whatever his name is picked up Aaron Rodgers, who was the first-ranked QB. Not a surprise. Tom Brady was ranked second but I chose Drew Brees over Tom Brady because, well, screw prettyboy Tom Brady. Tom Brady was autodrafted to Team Spider Boss, who was not present for the draft as he is in Saudi Arabia serving our glorious country (you're welcome!) I have faith in Drew Brees anyway, and what's not to like about the New Orleans Saints? My husband didn't like the QB picks by the time it was his turn so he went straight for the top-ranked RB. This was a good move on his part. He is a strategist- he won't waste first few round picks on players that will still be there towards the end of the draft. Are you writing this down?
I had a couple of issues- I was too indecisive during 2 rounds about what position I wanted to draft and ran out of time so the site automatically selected a player for me. Our draft was given a 90 second time limit. It picks the top selected player next, which isn't horrible, unless that person is Maurice Jones-Drew, a player who has not actually committed to the Jaguars or anyone. Someone I was specifically told by my dear husband not to draft before we started. GR. Thanks ESPN auto-draft. Other than that I was pretty pleased with my lineup. There is a chat board on the bottom where you can talk smack or be nice, whatever your style is. I can't multitask that much so I didn't really participate.
After the draft was over I moved a couple people into starting positions based on injuries and whatnot. Actually, I just realized I didn't hit "submit" so I had to do it again. Duh
I got roped into joining another league. I'm now an expert- watch out Kimmel family!
People are driving backwards down Canyon Blvd in front of my eyes and I might witness an accident. Gotta go!
Ok the draft is super easy. Even if you didn't listen to me and came to the draft completely unprepared, the players are ranked so you could easily just pick the top ranked player for the position you want. It has the players, the ranks, the positions, and the "bye" weeks (and probably other stuff that I didn't pay attention to). I had second pick, and of course the QBs went first. First picker Godsmack or whatever his name is picked up Aaron Rodgers, who was the first-ranked QB. Not a surprise. Tom Brady was ranked second but I chose Drew Brees over Tom Brady because, well, screw prettyboy Tom Brady. Tom Brady was autodrafted to Team Spider Boss, who was not present for the draft as he is in Saudi Arabia serving our glorious country (you're welcome!) I have faith in Drew Brees anyway, and what's not to like about the New Orleans Saints? My husband didn't like the QB picks by the time it was his turn so he went straight for the top-ranked RB. This was a good move on his part. He is a strategist- he won't waste first few round picks on players that will still be there towards the end of the draft. Are you writing this down?
I had a couple of issues- I was too indecisive during 2 rounds about what position I wanted to draft and ran out of time so the site automatically selected a player for me. Our draft was given a 90 second time limit. It picks the top selected player next, which isn't horrible, unless that person is Maurice Jones-Drew, a player who has not actually committed to the Jaguars or anyone. Someone I was specifically told by my dear husband not to draft before we started. GR. Thanks ESPN auto-draft. Other than that I was pretty pleased with my lineup. There is a chat board on the bottom where you can talk smack or be nice, whatever your style is. I can't multitask that much so I didn't really participate.
After the draft was over I moved a couple people into starting positions based on injuries and whatnot. Actually, I just realized I didn't hit "submit" so I had to do it again. Duh
I got roped into joining another league. I'm now an expert- watch out Kimmel family!
People are driving backwards down Canyon Blvd in front of my eyes and I might witness an accident. Gotta go!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Step 6: Think before you draft
Research! Read articles like http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1265880-fantasy-football-2012-ranking-the-10-nfl-teams-with-most-fantasy-value?search_query=fantasy%20football%20team%20name
Have a clue about who you want on your team. Make a list of the options so you are not holding everyone up because the only quarterback in the entire NFL that you know by name is Tom Brady and someone else already picked him. Make educated decisions. If you choose to select only the best looking players in the NFL, go for it, but there are a few other things to keep in mind.
-Don't select players of the same position who have a bye in the same week
-Pick quarterbacks in your first rounds, then runningbacks, then tightends.
-Pick your defense, kickers, wide receivers later
-We haven't had our draft yet, so if this method doesn't really work, I'll let you know
-Don't listen to me, I have no idea what I'm doing
Our draft is taking place this Saturday, August 25, coincidently the same day the USA Pro Cycling Challenge will be speeding down our street Canyon Blvd, so we will be drafting on our front porch. Look for us on TV, on NBC from 2-4pm (Mountain time I assume?), our house is orange and grey. We'll be the knuckleheads sitting on the porch with the laptops. My husband will probably have a beer in hand.
Anyone want to guess how many beer cans will end up on our lawn after this event?
Have a clue about who you want on your team. Make a list of the options so you are not holding everyone up because the only quarterback in the entire NFL that you know by name is Tom Brady and someone else already picked him. Make educated decisions. If you choose to select only the best looking players in the NFL, go for it, but there are a few other things to keep in mind.
-Don't select players of the same position who have a bye in the same week
-Pick quarterbacks in your first rounds, then runningbacks, then tightends.
-Pick your defense, kickers, wide receivers later
-We haven't had our draft yet, so if this method doesn't really work, I'll let you know
-Don't listen to me, I have no idea what I'm doing
Our draft is taking place this Saturday, August 25, coincidently the same day the USA Pro Cycling Challenge will be speeding down our street Canyon Blvd, so we will be drafting on our front porch. Look for us on TV, on NBC from 2-4pm (Mountain time I assume?), our house is orange and grey. We'll be the knuckleheads sitting on the porch with the laptops. My husband will probably have a beer in hand.
Anyone want to guess how many beer cans will end up on our lawn after this event?
Monday, July 30, 2012
Step 5: Getting on the site and Note about message board
When you receive your email inviting you into the league, click on the link provided. Create your login and password if you don't already have one (I already had one on espn.com). Do NOT use the "go through facebook" link because the stupid thing doesn't work and it is annoying. Under "My Team" update your profile and change your team name to something awesome as per previous post (it will create an automatic team name for you based on your last name). Upload your logo from another website or create one on the fantasy site. If you are using one you find online, use something that looks like clipart and is not too detailed. Don't get frustrated when your updates don't show up right away- the site takes awhile. Click your name all the way at the top to update your account if you want. I added a picture to mine.
A note about the message board:
The message board is a good place to talk smack to the other teams as well as find out pertinent information, such as when the draft is taking place. Don't rely on your husband to tell you this; once he posts it on the message board, it will likely go out of his head. Make sure you check out and participate in the message board, because it's fun! It's even more fun if you have a self-deprecating husband who lifts you up while he puts himself down.
A note about the message board:
The message board is a good place to talk smack to the other teams as well as find out pertinent information, such as when the draft is taking place. Don't rely on your husband to tell you this; once he posts it on the message board, it will likely go out of his head. Make sure you check out and participate in the message board, because it's fun! It's even more fun if you have a self-deprecating husband who lifts you up while he puts himself down.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Step 4: What's in a name?
From bleacherreport.com (arbitrary reference much?) "A clever team name won't win a championship but it can be a source of pride in your fantasy football league." Think of a good name for your team. No, I said a GOOD name. You need to at least make your male league-mates chuckle when they first see it. A good name should be accompanied by a good logo. Based on my husband's reviews of my possible team name choices, names like "The Quilted Squares" and "The Queens of Cuisine" are not acceptable names. He recommends a play on words, a play on your name or taking something from a Bruce Springsteen song out of context and making it a team name ie: The Swamps of Jersey. He is obviously very specific with these guidelines. My advice is, if you're going to celebrate being the only woman in your league within your team name, make sure it is sassy. My team name: Trophy Wives United.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Steps 2 and 3
Step 2: Check your attitude
Fantasy Football with a bunch of dudes is not for the faint of heart. Half of the time spent participating in the league is ragging on your friends so make sure you have a sense of humor. Leave your feminism and your soap box at the door, or go start your own all-chicks league. If the guys think they have to censor themselves because of your participation, you'll ruin the fun for them. Jack informed me of a less-than-tasteful picture he posted on the league page before "letting me in" to make sure I would be a good sport. I was like "hey, it's me". Of course I'm a good sport, **roll eyes**
Step 3: Get invited into the league
Only the creator/Commissioner of the league can invite you to participate. If that is your man, great! If not, he has to go to bat for you and get the Commissioner to invite you. Most likely, this will not be an issue. Men don't try to keep women out of their leagues, it's the women who don't really care to join. When you are invited, you will receive an email so you can access the league page.
Fantasy Football with a bunch of dudes is not for the faint of heart. Half of the time spent participating in the league is ragging on your friends so make sure you have a sense of humor. Leave your feminism and your soap box at the door, or go start your own all-chicks league. If the guys think they have to censor themselves because of your participation, you'll ruin the fun for them. Jack informed me of a less-than-tasteful picture he posted on the league page before "letting me in" to make sure I would be a good sport. I was like "hey, it's me". Of course I'm a good sport, **roll eyes**
Step 3: Get invited into the league
Only the creator/Commissioner of the league can invite you to participate. If that is your man, great! If not, he has to go to bat for you and get the Commissioner to invite you. Most likely, this will not be an issue. Men don't try to keep women out of their leagues, it's the women who don't really care to join. When you are invited, you will receive an email so you can access the league page.
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